This Quest, My Quest
by stay.traught.i'm.deactivated
Summary: "No one is as perfect as me for this quest. I'm just better. If I can't complete this quest, then I'm a failure, a fool." Hah, more like a fool in love, Draco. You just never realized it until now. OOC, seventh year, two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**The Quest, My Quest**

Hahah, this is just an OOC! warning for you all. The characters are all out of character, and this is just for fun and laughs. So, I hope you guys laugh!

This is a disclaimer. Feel free to hate on it, as I do, but that still does not change the fact that I do not own Harry Potter.

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><p>We have stumbled on a matter of great seriousity (yes, that's a word. I'm serious! Because I said so, of course. Stupid inner Granger.) and importance. I, Draco Lucius (Merlin, I hate my middle name. I mean, come ON. He's already my father. I don't need to be reminded of him every time someone asks me what my name is. Geez. It's not like I would name my son Scorpius Draco Malfoy. Maybe Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Or some cool middle name like that. And yes, Scorpius is a very nice name.) Malfoy, have taken it upon myself, out of the goodness of my heart (as well as the respect and admiration that I will no doubt be on the receiving end of) to fix this life threatening matter. (Besides, I can just <em>imagine<em> the looks of pure rage and jealousy on those poor souls' faces when I become famous for this.)

I have composed a list of things to help me through this quest, if I may call it. There are ten items on my list, ten ways to solve this bothersome problem, and I will use them all. If I should fail (which I doubt. After all, this _is _a Malfoy made _and_ approved plan.), my good friend Blaise Zabini will be completing this perilous quest for me. (Wait, he won't do it? Did I hear that right? Stupid Zabini! He wants 20 Galleons? Screw him... What? Fine, he can have the bloody Galleons. But he only gets them if I fail! Which is, I repeat, highly unlikely.)

If my quest proves successful (which is _very _likely) my name will be remembered favourably for generations, and I will be remembered as a hero! (Yes, as opposed to "that annoying, yet incredibly sexy, blonde twit in Slytherin". That would be a nice change.) Now, you're probably _dying _to know what this most important quest is. (As much as I would love to watch you die while I stay nice and alive whilst I laugh at your suffering faces...) I now present to you, the one and only...

**10 Ways to Get Hermione Granger to Shut Up**

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><p><strong>10. Insult Her<strong>

Ah, my favourite pastime. Don't you agree? She's in the Library. Again. I swear, that girl must _live _there, or something like that. But anyway, this should be a piece of cake. I have a whole slew of insults just brewing in my brain. She will be rendered speechless and offended. Two of my favourite things to watch her feel.

I take my time eating dinner. There's no rush. After all, if Hermione Granger truly does live in the Library, I have no real reason to rush. Oh Merlin, here comes Nott. I really shouldn't have spiked his muffin with Puking Pastilles this morning. But he was on a date with the little Greengrass, so I just couldn't help it. And that time he beat me at Wizards' Chess; I swear he was cheating! The look on the little Greengrass' face when he threw up all over her new designer robes... Ah, that's what makes everything worth it. If only he had thrown up on Granger... My day would have been one of the best of my life.

Speaking of the annoying know it all, she and "The Boy Who Lived to Be a World Class Imbecile" got the bloody Head Positions. It should have been me! _I _have better grades than him, _I _have gotten in trouble fewer times than him, _I _haven't been sent to the Hospital Wing at least twice a bloody year! I deserve that position! Not that stupid, little Scarhead!

Uh oh, Nott seems to have stumbled his sorry little arse over to me. Great. He probably wants to hex my arse off for ruining his date. Like I give a crap. I stand up immediately, and rush out the doors with the grace and finesse only a Malfoy can have. And yes, I also had said things while I shouldered Nott not too lightly as I walked past him. No one cheats when they're playing Wizards' Chess with the likes of _me._

I walked ever so mightily into the Library and plopped down at Granger's (unsurprisingly) empty table. The moment she saw me, she started rattling off with that annoying voice of hers.

"Malfoy, what are you doing here? This is my table. There are so many other tables here, why can't you just go to another one? It's not that har –"

Time to insult her. "Granger, shut up. Your voice sounds worse than fifty bloody banshees with bag pipes and sore throats." Her mouth hung open for a few seconds. There; done and done.

"You little prat!" she gasped. Damn, it didn't work. "How _dare _you come in and sit at _my_ table, just to insult me? What is wrong with you? Wait, I know. You're a –"

At that moment I tuned out. Her words were not very kind or appropriate, and I had no desire to hear her Merlin-awful voice say such vulgar things. They'll only sound worse, you know. Since this attempt at my quest has proven unfruitful, and I had neither the energy nor tolerance for this bookworm, I simply got up and left, leaving her fuming. At least I pissed her off, I thought gleefully as I walked back to the Slytherin Dungeons, wondering how in the world Scarhead and Weasel could stand her annoying voice. Maybe they have selective hearing. I was momentarily jealous, but then I laughed at the thought of then having selective hearing. Maybe that's why they're such idiots. They tune out the teacher every time. Hah.

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><p><strong>9. Threaten Her<strong>

Another day, another Galleon, or in this case, another try. This sounds like such fun. I get to threaten her, and possibly make her shut up. It is most definitely a win-win situation. What better way than to end a Friday than with threatening Granger, making her shut up, and going off laughing at her pitiful face? Exactly, there is no other way.

She always eats Lunch quickly before going to the Library every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I know where to find her. Not like I'm stalking her or something. I have better things to do with my precious time. And, right on schedule, there she goes. I follow her (at a distance, of course) as she walks to the Library. I walk in about a minute after Granger and I sit right beside her, just like the night before.

"Well, if it isn't the talkative know it all," I drawl patronizingly, wearing my famous Malfoy smirk. She looks up from her work and I promptly receive a murderous glare. Wow, my mere presence seems to piss her off. That can certainly be used later on.

"Malfoy, I told you yesterday, leave me alone!" she demanded. I didn't really hear her rattle on; I was busy searching my mind for a good threat. When I finally found one (it must have been a minute of two), the girl was _still _tittering on and on about personal space and how it's not "politically correct" to stalk and harass people. Does she even know who she is talking to? I'm a _Malfoy. _I don't need to follow the rules of "political correctness" if I don't feel like it. And I'm not stalking her.

"Granger, if you don't shut up, I'm going to hex your bushy little head 'til you can't read no more," I say sassily. Oh, that's right, Granger. Don't _ever _try and mess with Draco Malfoy.

She gave a half second of quiet to glare at me, and I almost expected her to give me the finger. "I'm not going to shut up, Malfoy, so you better get used to me talking our soon to be bloody ears off. I will yell at your pathetic head until you get knocked unconci –"

She's not going to shut up? To heck with her, then. I'm leaving. I push her short little head down, causing her to fall back onto her seat and storm out. And before you ask, yes, I stormed out with grace and finesse.

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><p><strong>8. Muggle Duct Tape<strong>

Out of all the muggle things ever created, I'd have to say this is one of the most useful. If I ever run out of Spellotape, this works nearly just as well. And it sounds funnier. Like duck tape, but it's duct with a _t_, not duck with a _k_. Now I wonder how duck tape would look like... Probably something like tape made out of crushed duck bones and intestines, squished into a thin sticky band.

Ew, that's disgusting. Curse me and my magnificently imaginative and descriptive mind. Although it would certainly freak Granger out if I put _that _over her mouth. I can just picture her screams as she bolts off to the bathroom to retch. And I'm just standing there, laughing and looking incredibly attractive. Picture perfect.

And now I have a roll of duct tape in my bag with me almost everywhere I go, in case I should ever need it. Like this morning, for instance. Pansy was going on and on and ON about her designer robes and her fancy-ass perfume, so I just ripped out my duct tape and slapped it right over that monstrosity she calls a mouth. I sear, her voice is more annoying than Granger's! At least Granger can sound intelligent.

Wait. That isn't right. Granger is not intelligent. She is a stupid smart aleck. Yes, that's more like it.

And this time I don't even have to follow her. She just came into the Library when I happened to be studying, and I just had to get up and slip into the seat beside her. See, Granger? I'm _not _stalking you. (This is where I'd stick my tongue out at her, but we never really had this conversation. It's just in my mind. And no, not the "in my mind" as in the insane kind, but the "in my mind" like a hypothesis type thing. Malfoy's aren't insane. We are insanely intelligent.)

"Oh, it's you again," she drawled unenthusiastically. "Malfoy, how many _times _do I have to tell you? Leave. Me. Alo –"

Ah, the wonder that is duct tape. I watched in amusement as Granger's left eye literally twitched. Ah, this is priceless. Now for my favourite part. As she glared at me (silently! I love this.), she ripped off the duct tape from her mouth. I'm pretty sure she was going to yell at me. But she couldn't, of course, because when she ripped the tape off, she shrieked from the stinging sensation that comes when you rip duct tape off your mouth. She even had a red mark over her mouth. Ah, my day has just been made brighter.

As I briefly wished I had a camera, Granger caught me off guard and smacked me right on the face. That little –! I actually can't think of a swear words worthy of her at the moment. I'm too busy storming off down the hall, leaving her pathetic little mouth to curse after me. When I deem myself far enough down the hall, I turn around to see Madam Pince giving her a detention. That'll teach you to use such vulgar words against the likes of _this _Malfoy.

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><p><strong>7. Tell Her That Her Breath Stinks<strong>

Ugh, curse you, Blaise. Stupid Zabini. He bet me that I would fail and chicken out of doing whatever he chose for the "lucky" number seven. And he chooses this. That little imbecile. I can't believe he even shoes the word "stinks". That word is so unsophisticated. But I will finish this, and he will _not _get those twenty bloody galleons. Maybe twenty bruises to the head... Yes, that sounds wonderful. (It's times like these that I wish I had an evil laugh. But then again, evil laughs are rather cliché.) So, I shall do this, but I don't think it really deserves any of my energy or effort. Take that, Zabini. I get to move on to the next bloody thing, and you owe me two galleons. I win.

But the point is, Zabini is really irritaiting me right now. That stupid little idiot.

And I don't feel like going to the Library this time, because this task is simply just a waste of my precious time. I could be tormenting Scarhead and Weasel right now. Yes, I have even more insults for them formulated in my devious Slytherin mind than for Granger. I love imagining that I am using the insults on the two and watch as the imaginary idiots cry and run off. Ah, it's like my sadistic little fantasy bliss.

As I picture them crying and running off like sissy's in my head, someone crashes into me. People should really watch their steps. After all, I am a Malfoy, and we deserve to be noticed. And just my (un)luck, it's Hermione "I am I know it all and must talk the crap out of you with my never ending smartitude" Granger. And yes, smartitude is a word because I bloody well say so.

"Malfoy, this is the fourth time in just as many days! I know you're stalking me! You better stop it now, or I will tell a teacher." She turned her nose up at me, daring me to argue. Oh, it's on, you little Gryffindork.

"Granger, you should really refrain from opening your mouth. The most _foul_ stench seems to hit me when it's open and breathing. Have you ever heard of a mint?" I ask condescendingly. I smirk at her murderous glare. Maybe she'll finally shut up and learn to keep her mouth shut!

"For your information, Malfoy," she literally growled. Anger issues much? "I just had some gum. Maybe the disgusting stench is you. I'm sure your ego is big enough to hold a family of rats, so why don't you go deflate it?" Oh, she did _not _just go there.

"You did _not _just say that, Granger."

"I'm afraid I just did," she replied, mocking _my _condescending tone. I hope I didn't just twitch.

"You suck," I spit childishly. That's a real conversation stopper; I've used it many a time. No really, I was bored of talking to the older Greengrass, so I just blurted it out and she instantly shut up before stomping away. Like a charm.

"You do too, glad we got that cleared up," she replied before leaving me standing in the middle of an empty corridor, slightly offended and slightly amazed by her gall.

I blame Blaise for all of this.

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><p><strong>6. Tell Her a Random Lie<strong>

That stupid, little, muggle born, know it all. I will show her! No one insults Draco Lucius (still hate my middle name) Malfoy and gets away with it! Oh wait... She just did. Darn. I _will_ show her... And what better way to mess with her than to tell her trash about her friends? Let's see. Old Scarhead or the Weasel? Or even Long-butt and the Weaselette... She has so many friends, this will be easy.

Eenie meenie miney... WEASEL! Now for some ridiculous, mind blowing, Granger shut up-ing lie... Wait, I'm Draco Malfoy; I have MILLIONS of lies at hand. That was too easy.

And so here I am, sitting in the Library (at Granger's favourite seat, but who cares?) and doing my homework, not doing anything evil at all. Well, I might be thinking very evil things, but that is for another time and another way of torture.

I was just being an innocent(ish) student, and then all of a sudden, Merlin decided to punish me. Granger just storms up to me, red in the face, and starts yelling (quietly. Mind you, this is a library.) at me! What have I ever done wrong?

You know what, don't answer that. I haven't done anything wrong _that day. _So that's pretty good for me. So she's yelling at me with her loud annoying voice now. UGH.

"Draco FREAKING Malfoy! Get out of my seat. This is my seat, and I _demand _that you give it back to me! Don't you even try and freaking insult me, just get your sorry little arse out of this chair!"

Her voice makes me want to slit my throat and Crucio myself until I am fully dead. "Granger," I call. "Granger, shut up. I'm not going to give you your seat back," I say as soon as she quiets herself for a brief moment.

She opens her mouth to argue, but I start talking again before she can utter a sound. "I'm not going to let you sit here, because... because I saw your precious Weasel playing tonsil Quidditch with Pansy right in the corridor that leads into the Great Hall! You should really go and stop them, since you _are _a Prefect. After all, you know public displays of affection are wrong."

"You ungrateful, little," and pause here, for I do not wish to register the string of bad words that she had called me. After a few seconds, I tune back in. I wish I had selective hearing all the time, so I could ignore Granger, but it only comes when she is swearing like a horse. Shame.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could have stopped them, and they would have gotten fewer points taken off for us, but NO. You just _had _to go and annoy me. ARGH!" With that last comment (animalistic sound is more like it), she stormed off to the Great Hall.

That is my cue to run to the Slytherin Common Rooms and hide, because when she finds out I was lying, I am dead. And despite all of my please to die earlier, I actually _don't _wish to perish at such a young age.

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><p>This is seriously not to be taken seriously. The next part will probably be coming out in a few weeks, a month at the most. I just <em>had <em>to get this out.


	2. Chapter 2

**This Quest, My Quest **

Sorry I took so long...

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><p>It is I, the great Draco (not going to even <em>mention <em>my middle name) Malfoy, back again to continue my most important quest! Even if I'm beginning to lose a little hope, myself... And I now have proof that Blaise Zabini has serious mental issues. He bet me that I would get so desperate by the end of this quest that I might actually result to _touching _Granger. At least three times before I finish, to be exact. He's such a loser. I can't wait to collect those 500 Galleons.

**5. Tell Her There's Homework Due Tomorrow**

I really don't know why Granger was so pissed yesterday. Maybe Weasel was insulting her menace of hair or something. I consider hers an insult to hair (especially immaculate hair like mine) everywhere. Although, I'd really have to hand it to him to have the gall to insult that little bird's nest.

Well, actually, that's probably not considered to be gall, it's most likely stupidity and ignorance. I mean, come on, did he _not _see her hair at the Yule Ball in fourth year? It looked so soft and silky, like a golden waterfall. I swear, I just wanted to run my hands through it and–

_Ow!_

Pardon me, I just slapped myself. Thinking bad thoughts about Granger is a big no. No matter how gorgeous she looked at the Ball.

And since I've grown rather attached to it, I'm sitting at her seat again at the Library. I just love the view from here. I can't believe I didn't find this place sooner. It's so not fair! I mean, I can see the Black Lake from here! It looks so pretty and shiny!

With a great view of the Black Lake, comes a great big nuisance called Hermione Granger. This is where I bang my head on the desk in frustration.

"Oh, hello Malfoy," she chirrups pleasantly. I nearly die of shock. What, no, "Get the **BEEP**ing hell out of my **BEEP**ing seat or I'll **BEEP**ing Crucio the **BEEP** out of you until you **BEEP**ing beg for my **BEEP**ing mercy!" or something like that? Talk about violent mood swings. I'll never understand this girl.

At least I think she's a girl. Now I am being thankful she isn't a Legilimens, or I would have been slapped right then and there.

"Hello, Granger," I reply cautiously. She sits down across from me and lays out all of her homework supplies. "What essay are you working on?"

"Oh, I'm working on Flitwick's homework," she relies happily. How the heck is she _that _happy? If she's taking happy medicine, I want some of that. Oh wait, I'm a wizard. A Cheering Charm will be good enough. "It's quite interesting, really," she continues. "Did you know that to be able to Disillusion any living object, it takes two times the concentration, and they must be stationary while you cast the charm, or they will just look like a frozen picture of what was behind them?"

What's this? Intelligent conversation? I miss this so much.

I nod enthusiastically. "Yes, that is a really useful thing to know. That way, if I need to ever Disillusion myself while running away from kidnappers, I won't. I wouldn't want to look like a moving tree or something," I joke rather lamely, but she still laughs.

I thought her laugh would sound like nails on chalkboard. Unless mails on a chalkboard sound as carefree, happy, and natural as her laugh, I was wrong. (It's a miracle. Draco Malfoy was _wrong_. And there's millions of my fangirls dying right there.)

And from Disillusionment Charms, she starts talking about the mechanics and theories behind Vanishing things. I am now bored, as I read all of this last year. We all did, but apparently Herm– Granger loves to talk about _everything _we've learned at Hogwarts, not just this year. If it was last year, maybe I would have been more interested.

"Her– Granger," I snap, causing her to give me a quizzical look. "What?"

"You almost called me by my name," she says quietly. I mentally sigh before mentally repeating a few of the swear words Granger had previously taught me.

"No I didn't," I reply defensively. "Now, weren't you working on Flitwick's essay?" I ask, quickly changing the subject. I believe it's due Friday, oh wait, that's tomorrow," I gasp dramatically.

"What?" she asked panickedly. "I have to finish writing this essay, and then draw a picture for Care of Magical Creatures, and then read a passage for Professor Slughorn! Malfoy, Can you help me?" But before the words were completely out of her mouth, I was out the door and speeding down the hall.

**4. Silencio**

Okay, I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier. Oh wait, I saved one of the easiest for last, just in case one of the stupider ones wouldn't work. Either that, or hanging around with idiots (and Blaise; he's a whole other species of idiot, you know?) is messing with my intelligence level. Hm... Nah, that's not possible. Malfoy's are too superior to be easily influenced like that. (But just in case: Note to self, hang around with more intelligent people more often. Like Granger.)

Knowing Granger, she is probably pissed that I distracted her from her homework for a little yesterday, and then ditched her. But now it is Friday, and the teachers did _not _give us weekend homework! Now I can work on trying to get Hermione– no, Granger to shut up. Besides, maybe some of her intelligence may rub off on me. Merlin knows I need it after the King Idiots, Crabbe and Zabini, hang around with me too much.

"Good day, Granger," I say, plopping down beside her.

"Oh, hi, Malfoy. What's going on? Why are you sitting here again? Is this, like, a thing we have going on? I sit here and do homework and then you come and sit right next to me? I mean, it could work, but I would like it if you didn't insult me every time. But other than that, I suppose we could make it work. Oh! But you also have to –"

Merlin, how much can this girl talk? It is unbelievable. I'm surprised she isn't Hogwarts' co crowned "gossip queen", because her mouth sure runs fast enough for it. She's all 'blah, blahblah, blahblah, blah, blah, BLAH!' It really gets annoying after a few seconds. That's how bad it is.

"Granger," I say, trying to get her to stop.

"– and on Tuesdays we usually have a lot of homework, so if you could refrain from insulting and bothering me, that –"

"Granger," I say a little louder. Ugh, it's like all she can hear is herself. Talk about selective hearing...

"– But Wednesdays are fine because the teachers usually don't give us that much homework, unless we have a project due. And I'm helping Harry and Ron on the first and last Mondays –"

"Silencio," I whisper under my breath. Yes! It worked, there is nothing piercing my ears right now!

I take a deep breath, and then... Granger starts talking again.

"Did you see who cast that silencing charm on me? That's so rude," she exclaims indignantly. "Thank goodness I know silent magic, or else I would have had to track the culprit down and made them reverse the charm." She sighed disappointedly and then giggled happily.

Me? I just banged my head on the desk.

**3. Put a Hand Over Her Mouth**

Oh Granger, is there _any _way to get you to bloody shut up?

Oh wait, that's what I'm trying to do...

And when she asked if it's a thing we got going on, me sitting by her when we're working, I'll just say it is. Until I can get her to shut up, of course.

"It's Saturday, Granger," I say as I sit down beside her. "Why are you reading? I know for a fact that the teachers didn't assign homework this weekend."

"People can read for fun, Dra– Malfoy," she fumbles, rolling her eyes, yet I see no annoyance or mirth in them. "This is _History of Wand Woods_. It's really interesting. It tells about the woods that we have used to make wands, and the type of personalities they usually choose in a person."

I just stare at her. Mostly in disbelief right now. Disbelief at everything she just said. Including almost saying my name.

"You know, the wand chooses the wizard. This book tells about which kind of woods usually choose what kind of wizard. Malfoy? Stop staring at me. D- Draco? It's making me uncomfortable..."

Okay, if I were just to be randomly truthful, I'd have to say her voice is not the worst sound I've ever heard.

"Malfoy. Please stop staring at me. It's really uncomfortably. Is there something on my hair or something, or on my blouse?" Hermione put her book down and started fidgeting with her hair and blouse. Wait, no, Granger. _Granger _started fidgeting with her hair and blouse.

"Okay, I'm serious! There's nothing on my blouse, and you are still scaring the heck out of me. Stop it!" she snapped her fingers in front of my face. Hey, if it annoys her, I am simply obligated to continue! Annoying Granger is a specialty of mine. And soon, shutting her up shall be too. I am awesome enough to be the best at _everything_.

Except knitting.

Merlin, I hate that! I mean, how the hell does it work? Is it one needle, or is it two? And how do you make a scarf or some crap like that out of just some bloody string? I don't bloody get it!

"Malfoy!" she clapped both of her hands loudly in front of my face. What the heck, woman? "If you don't stop staring at me, I'll... I'll... I'll have you tried for sexual harassment!"

I only heard half of that. Lost her after 'tried'.

"Stop it right now. As a Prefect, you should know better than to just randomly harass people. And since I am Head Girl, I will make sure that you learn better, or I will have to take points off Slytherin. Do you hear me, Malfoy? This is no longer funny! Actually, it was never funny, so you stop it right –"

Remember when I said her voice isn't the worst sound ever? It's still annoying. So I covered her mouth with my hand. Quiet. I sigh in relief. And hopefully, Blaise won't find out, I actually _touched _her.

Her skin is so soft. I should tell Pansy to get whatever potion Granger is using, because I swear that girl is half lizard! Not even snake. LI-ZARD. Pansy isn't cool enough to be compared directly to a snake.

Bloody 'effing heck!

She _licked _my hand! Ew... Hah, I just rubbed her spit back all over her robes. Take that, Granger.

"Malfoy! What the heck was that for!" she screeched. _Back to using that annoying, torturous voice instead of that sweet, musical tone you were using earlier, eh Granger?_

"What did you say?" she asked, gaping at me.

"I said that aloud, didn't I?" I asked unnecessarily. I pretty much knew the answer, I just need hard solid proof. I prayed to Merlin I didn't say it aloud. You know, I should have thought _all _of this through more...

"Yea, you did say it aloud," she confirmed, nodding almost hesitantly.

I bit the inside of my cheek. Crap, crap, crap.

"Well, would you look at the time?" I said quickly, bounding out of my seat. "I think I hear Zabini calling me. Bye." I said it so quickly, _I _barely understood myself. Then I literally sprinted out of the Library. The only thing I heard was Madame Pomfrey taking five points off Slytherin as I escaped.

Now would be a good time to use all of the swear words Granger taught me.

**2. Compliment Her**

Wow, it has come to this. Thank Merlin I'm good at lying! Comes with being a Slytherin.

And by the way, I know you told Blaise. He found out, and with a smug smirk, he said, "Hah, I'm so getting those 500 Galleons, Draco. Be prepared to pay up!" And then he walked away, leaving me to fume. That jerk. I _know _that _you _told him. Don't play innocent.

Anyway, if you let anything else slip I'll kill you in your sleep or something like that. Now back to my quest.

I sit down beside Hermione. "Good day. Granger. Still reading that book, I see."

She looked up from her hard bound black hole and smiled slightly. She smiles so much, it's almost ridiculous. Almost. Sometimes I wish I could smile that much. But I swear it's so physically hard for me! Or there's something missing in my life. But I prefer not to think that.

"Hello, Malfoy. Back again, I see. I was waiting here for ten minutes." I shot her a quizzical look. "It's the little thing we apparently have going on here," she elaborated with an even wider, more dazzling smile.

"Ah," I say, nodding my head. I peered over at her book. It really did seem interesting. She saw me and moved her book over so I could see it, too. "Er... Thanks, I suppose...?" I say hesitantly.

She gave a small giggle. "It doesn't hurt to say thank you, Malfoy," she chirruped with a warm grin. Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought. But I still scoffed at the statement.

"Maybe for a Gryffindor like you, but I am a Slytherin _and _a Malfoy. We have _standards_." She rolled her eyes at the statement. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, Granger!" I scolded with a glare. It was true. I have standards!

She shook her head before changing the subject. "Did you read this paragraph about Hawthorn vines? Isn't that what your wand is made of?" How the heck did she know that? Well, I wouldn't put it past her to know things like wand woods just by looking at them and thinking for half a bloody second. "It says here that hawthorn wands seem most at home with wizards that have a kind of conflicted nature."

I'm surprised by that statement, not because it's completely off, but because it's really close. Wow, wands are smarter than I give them credit for. I need to check out that book.

"Is there another copy of that book anywhere, Granger?" I ask, trying not to sound too eager.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy, this is the only copy. I'll be happy to share with you, though," she offers sincerely. I nod in thanks, because I still don't like that word. I just don't.

"Have you ever heard of Muggles picking up twigs and pretending they were wands?" she asks me out of the blue. "I remember when I was little, I used to do that. I used to think that bird's nest were magical because they were made with tiny magic wands."

She chuckled fondly, as if reminiscing her past. I can just imagine a little Granger playing around with twigs as if they were magic wands, laughing and running around. Now look where she is now. Quite ironic, really.

"You know what's funny?" I ask her, feeling a little reckless. She raised an eyebrow. "The first thing I thought of when you said bird's nest was your hair," I say jokingly, with a small chuckle. Then I remembered the Yule Ball. _But Merlin, her hair at the Yule Ball was so... wow._

"Excuse me?" I hear her voice ask.

"I said that aloud, didn't I?" She nodded with an angry glint in her eyes. "Damn, I have got to stop doing that," I mutter under my breath. I really have to stop doing that. "What I meant was, I remember thinking to myself, 'Wow, I can barely stand to just look at her hair.' That's what I was trying to say."

And I suppose it was true. I couldn't stand just looking at it. I wanted to run my hand through it and see if it really was as soft as it looked. She gave me a quizzical and slightly offended look.

"So... What type of wood is your wand made of?" I ask her curiously, eager to change the subject..

"Oh?" she gasps, as if my question took her off guard. "Well, mine is made of vine. And it says in the book..." She trailed off, flipping around a few pages before stopping. "It says that vine wands tend to choose wizards who seek a greater purpose. They choose wizards who have a vision beyond the ordinary and frequently astound those that think they know them best."

When I think about it, that kind of does describe Hermione. I feel the corner of my mouth twitch up. But smiling, I must say, doesn't really come naturally for me. "It is kind of like you," I point out. "You certainly are very surprising, and you help seek a greater purpose by helping Potter fight Voldemort. You pretty much are a true Gryffindor," I finish.

She stares at me, open mouthed. And when I finally thought she was just going to stumble off, speechless, like I hope for most of the times (but not so much this time), she asked me the oddest question.

"Who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?" I do not get that.

"What the heck are you going on about, Granger? I'm _obviously_ Draco Malfoy."

"Muggle saying," she mutters, to which I nod understandingly.

"So, how much have you learned in the book, Granger?" I ask, killing the (somewhat) awkward silence. She grins and begins to talk about all the different wand woods. She says she may want to check out a book on wand cores soon. I have already read that book, so it's not a one sided conversation; it's intelligent conversation.

I could really get used to not talking to idiots. And yes, I mean Blaise.

**1. Um... Something  
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Don't tell anyone, but I'm at a loss right now. Maybe if I talk to Hermione, I'll get some last minute inspiration. I sit in my (now) usual seat beside Granger's at the Library, waiting for her, _banging my head on the bloody table._

I need an idea! Maybe her outside-the-box thinking will rub off on me. Or I will just be stuck with all idiot germs that I got from Blaise. Don't get me wrong, he's a book smart guy, he's just an idiot. A complete and utter _idiot_. I could write a whole book about his, and sometimes our, misadventures. Ooh, that's an out of the box idea...

"Hello, Malfoy," a voice said, causing me to jump a bit. I turn around to see Hermione smiling at me. That explains the sudden good idea, I suppose. "I see you beat me here," she notes, flashing me a smirk. I swear, she probably stole that smirk from me, because I know _I_ look sexy when I smirk. She looks twice as hot. Merlin, it should be illegal, her wearing that smirk (that she definitely stole from me), as she slides into the seat next to me.

"Good afternoon to you, too, Granger," I reply, without stuttering (miraculously), kicking myself mentally to remain focused on my task at hand. "So... Did you get Flitwick's essay on the theory of Banishing charms?" I ask randomly, feeling very, _very _awkward.

"Yea, I did," she replied, not sensing my awkwardness at all. (Thank Merlin!) In fact, she was so immune to awkwardness that she kept on talking and talking about the theory of the Banishing Charm. Gah, Granger, that was just to make conversation; I didn't want to start a whole freaking discussion on this subject!

"Did you know that the Banishing Charm was actually invented a hundred and thirty-four years before the Summoning Charm, Accio?" she continued on. Shut up, shut up, shut up, _please_. I don't want to discuss bloody schoolwork.

"And if you don't concentrate hard enough, the object won't go as far? It's really quite interesting. I actually didn't know all of this until Flitwick assigned us this essay, and I had to do research on it on particular."

Let me think quickly of something original. Something that can keep her quiet for as long as possible. (Or just as long as I want...) Dammit, it's so hard to think when she's distracting me with that bloody distracting spark in her eyes, the one that she gets when she (thinks that she) helps someone out. Did I mention it's distracting? Like, impossibly so?

"What is it that you needed help with, Malfoy? I can help you; I help Ron and Harry all the ti–"

My patience must have snapped. And that lack of patience must have led to insanity. I just know it. What else could it be if I'm kissing the girl... _on her bloody soft lips. _She tastes like peppermint... Merlin, it's addicting. I must be in Wizard Heaven.

Until she pulls away. Darn.

"Malfoy, what the hell?" she screeches (as loudly as she dares in a library), eyes wide.

I bite the inside of my cheek and ponder a good answer.

"Just shut up, Granger," I mutter, pulling her back and kissing her again.

She pulls back again.

"Seriously, Malfoy, what do you think you're doing?" she repeats with a suspicious tone of voice.

I take a deep breath. "Is there something _wrong _with kissing some girl I happen to fancy?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow in question. She opens her mouth to reply, but freezes right there, apparently unable to think of a reply.

Wait, she can't think of reply.

She shut up. And this was only the second time I had touched her. Not the third!

No way...

**HAH, I WIN, BLAISE ZABINI!**

For now, I just grab Hermione and kiss her again. And this time, she doesn't pull away. She kisses me back, and I come to a conclusion.

Blaise can keep his stupid Galleons. _I_ get Hermione Granger, the best girlfriend ever. (Well, she's kissing me back. She's my girlfriend now, right?)

In fact, Blaise can just suck it, the loner.

I am victorious!

* * *

><p>Well, I guess it's all over now... Thank you all for reviewing, favouriting, andor alerting. :)

This is the end of This Quest, My Quest.

And I _still _don't own Harry Potter.


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